What to look for to avoid being scammed.

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(former member)

Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:34 pm    Post subject: What to look for to avoid being scammed.

This topic for once is more fact than opinion, but still I am no expert in this subject at all. Many of us at one point or another may have come across a spammer or scammer. These are people that pose as someone looking for a relationship, but in reality they are really looking for money or something to help their situation. I know of people that have lost money to these people thinking they would get a good relationship out of the deal. What I'm going to do for you is tell you some ways of spotting these people fast. 1) Always look to see if this person even bothered viewing your profile. Scammer use three approaches to seeking victims all based on the way you look. They either look for someone they think has money, someone that does not look so good and looks desparate or will target as many people as they can. Someone that uses that last approach is not likely to read anyones profile because it would consume too much time(and time is money to these people). 2) Someone that writes you a letter that looks like it could be written to anyone. These are form letters, they are mostly directed towards the person that wrote it and is so general towards you that anyones name can be put on it. 3) If it looks too good to be true it probably is. If you are like me and weigh 278lbs, are 6'3" in height, not so young, balding and have not had a good looking woman ask you out in over ten years and all of a sudden you go on a dating site and have a whole bunch of women that have angelic faces and perfect bodies taking interest in you there is something wrong with this picture. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, but the odds of it being real is astromomical. In the real world drop dead gorgious women mostly go for a man with exceptional looks or a man with a lot of money. 4) Avoid women from foreign countries if at all possible. I have had women from countries like Africa, Ghana, England and Taiwan try to contact me. If you have the money to spend to see them all the power to you. I, on the other hand and most people too, this is not realistic. The main problem I run into is eventually they will ask you for money or something to that degree. 5) Don't always believe what you see. A smart scammer will not post a picture on a dating site, instead they will get you off the site to something like a yahoo IM and then show you what they look like. The problem is you don't know if this is the person you are really dealling with. You might think you are deal with a hot woman and really it could be a man. If this is the case refer to rule 3 from above. 6) This is the most important thing to remember, if someone ever ask you for something like money or a plane ticket etc, do not give them anything and report them as spam immediately. I feel if someone truely likes you they will never ask you for anything and considering you have never met this person before you owe them nothing.

I feel if you use a little common sense and have some confidence in yourself then these scammers will not affect you. The real victims in these scams I feel are the people in the pictures that are used by the scammers, their lives could be in danger if someone really thought that person in the picture was trying to scam them. Like I said most of the people you think you are dealing with are models, they are not the actual scammers. Thank you for reading this forum.
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Joined: January 5, 2005
Posts: 901

PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 7:01 am    Post subject: Re: What to look for to avoid being scammed. Reply with quote

GREAT Post metalman69! Very Happy

On the same note, we'd like to recommend that everyone take a moment to read through the 'Online Dating Safety' section of the site. You can find the link on the left of every page of the site (except the forums).

You'll notice a section in there specifically for spammers/scammers, and we welcome input into it as new scams appear.

Separately, we have a lot of 'spam' filters built into the site, but since we're completely free, we do tend to attract some 'bad apples'. We need you to report anyone that 'spams' or 'scams' you.

We are constantly working on new filters, and in the next month or so, we'll roll out 'enhanced blocking' on the sites...which will allow you to block messages from men or women in other countries (if you choose to).

And as a last reminder, we don't 'screen' our members, so it's up to every person to use the utmost caution when interacting with anyone online...remember, DON'T PROVIDE YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATON (no phone numbers, email addresses or full names).

Customer Service
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(former member)

Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:33 am    Post subject:

Excellent post Metalman. I'm glad to see a man post this, as women sometimes seem to think that they are the only ones being scammed. I was the victim of such a scam and while I did lose money, more importantly i lost time - 8 months of my life - and was majorly hurt as well. Sometimes it isn't just money they want. There are so many scams out there now it's hard to keep up with them all. And you're right about the photos too....in most cases they are taken off of modelling sites, or even just off personal photo albums. The photo you see is NOT the actual person you are corresponding with.

There are several excellent sites to check out if you think you're being scammed: romancescams@yahoogroups.com and datingnmore.com are two that post e-mail addresses, photos etc of confirmed scammers. You can always report someone to them as well as admin here,

It's sad that we have to be so cautious, but I've learned to be. Good luck to everyone!
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(former member)

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:55 pm    Post subject: Thank you!

Thank you Metalman and Macadamianut for your posts. I am new to chatting, and the last three weeks have been enlightning. I tend to be a trusting person, but now I find myself skeptical. One man I was talking to, things just didn't *feel* right, so I told him, if he was who he said he was, and was as interested in me as he claimed, he should have no problem using a cam to show me himself and I wanted to see a local newspaper with that days date on it. He was no longer interested in me.

Thanks for the advice.
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(former member)

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 4:05 pm    Post subject:

Oh Metalman? I forgot to tell you, thanks for sharing. I had no idea that men were scammed also. Sorry it is happening to you, but it makes me feel better that it is not just the women.
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(former member)

Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 8:26 am    Post subject:

yea well from what I've seen scammers on the net arn't much different than scammers in real life. And I've seen a lot in 55 years. When 25 y/o women start hitting on 55 y/o men there is something wrong.Usually by the time I get thru with them they are more than glad to be rid of me LOL
A fool and his money are soon parted. Most of these free online dateing sites are full of scammers.And most folks are only looking for a mate that lives close to themselves.(Althou they never mention this in their profiles.)
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(former member)

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 3:37 pm    Post subject: scammers

[color=darkblue]Hey, i think pretty much everythingyou said was great. Really sound advice and solid information, that we can all use, no matter our situation. But i really hate what u said about overseas correspondence, im a english girl, and id love to meet anyone from anywhere. If u really get talkng and then u wanna meet thats fine, the two of u can work it out. But i dont think contact should be limited to the country your in, you could be missing out on so much, justy because the person is form the same country as you does not mean you'll get along or you'll even wanna meet one another. so thats the only thing i dont agree with, so i just thought id let u know. Laters, take care.[/color]

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(former member)

Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 8:12 pm    Post subject:

In response to my last reply. If you read my forum carefully you would realize that I was not saying not to go for a foreign women. What I was saying was it is not realistic for most men I know. To go over seas can be expensive and time consuming. I'm not saying that all foreign women are bad, what I am saying is it can be a hell of a risk. I guess that goes back to my rule "if it looks too good to be true it probably is". Like I had said if you got the time and money to invest in that kind of relationship and you feel it is real then all the power to you. But for me, I just only deal with foreign women on a pen pal basis because I could never afford to see them. Again, this is only my view point and other may agree or disagree with what I just said.

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Joined: October 9, 2006
Posts: 28

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:34 pm    Post subject: What works for me.. Reply with quote

I don't look for 'hot' so it doesn't effect me when I"m presented with some model-looking picture of a man, I don't jump to fantasy land and I don't find it flattering that someone has contacted me, so I just sidestep all that which makes it much easier to see through a fake.

I would laugh my butt off if a man so much as suggested that I send him money for any reason, yeah right, not that desperate for a boyfriend that I'd be willing to buy one. LOL Since I won't be sending anyone any money, I won't be getting scammed.

And since I'm not the least bit flattered by attention, I instead see it as normal communication and my feet are on the ground when I talk to a man. Younger men hitting on me is annoying, so that scamming tactic doesn't work either.

There's this idea out there that because I'm fat and homely that I'm suppose to be desperate, but desperate and being an enabler has nothing to do with one's looks (lots of beautiful people are desperate and co-dependent) it has to do with the respect you have for yourself and whether or not you allow others to use you.

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(former member)

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 1:13 pm    Post subject: I hit em back!! LOL

Well..It didn't take this ole gal too long to figure out that something was a miss...First off..he looked like a super model. Clue #1... Then all of the sudden he's in..Guess where? Africa. Clue #2...also, he had horrible english. These guys usually use all small letters and words like RU OKAY?..etc. Shocked

So, be careful and if it Looks too good to be true, they can't write good english, and happen to live in Africa, it's a pretty good bet that their scammers.

I just told him I was a Voodoo Queen...That works pretty well since it scares the hell out of em!! I highly recomend putting a HEX on em!


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